What if my spouse and/or I do not feel at ease in the group setting of a Hideaway Intensive Program?
We understand that it can be intimidating for most people to open up in a group—in fact, its normal.But while many couples will come to an Intensive scared or skeptical of the group format, by the end they would not have it any other way. It becomes a very safe place to express common concerns and issues. It fosters learning through observation and feedback. And it provides relationships for continued support. Many individuals who have concerns (about affairs, pornography, or childhood abuse) have found it very therapeutic to let the “secret” out, no longer having to bear the burden all alone. Most often, people will find empathy and support from others within the group going through similar struggles. Remember, the Hideaway setting is very private, and our therapists are specially trained to create a safe environment.
I really would like to go to a Hideaway Intensive; can someone contact and convince my spouse to go?
A good medical doctor wouldn’t simply call up a person and say, "I think you may have a cold. Please come in for an appointment." Likewise, the ethical standards in our practice will not allow us to pursue clients. Instead, we feel we have to wait until people contact us. However, we are more than delighted to return calls to discuss questions, concerns, or hesitancy.
Are there any cases when you would not recommend the intensive program?
Yes; there are specific two cases when the Intensive Program would not be appropriate:1. If there is currently a substance addiction, the individual would need to go through a rehabilitation program before to going through our program, in order for the intensive to be truly effective.2. If there is currently an extra-marital affair, the program simply will not be as effective. The program effectiveness depends on two individuals who are focusing on the marriage. The affair must be cut off and both partners must be focused and committed to the present relationship. Even if you are uncertain about the future, there needs to be at least a temporary commitment to focusing on this opportunity openly.
HOW ARE INTENSIVES DIFFERENT FROM WEEKLY COUNSELING?
Firstly, an Intensive is different from weekly counseling in regards to the format. Committing to an extended amount of focused time allows people to get to the true cause of a problem. Moreover, you have the time to really work the problem out. If you’ve been in typical weekly counseling before, you may have experienced how you spend the first half catching up from the week before, the second half getting into the root issues, and then—before you know it—the time is already up. An intensive is made so that people have the opportunity to go deeper without many of the other distractions of daily life, while also allowing the time to develop solutions. However, we must say that we are NOT discouraging traditional counseling. It is appropriate for many cases. Secondly, an Intensive is different from weekly counseling in regards to its efficiency. One of the first steps in the process is the client filling out a detailed assessment and questionnaire. This way the therapists receive the necessary information and can get an idea of the best way to proceed before you even arrive at the Hideaway.Lastly, an Intensive is different from weekly counseling in regards to the therapists. They are all marriage specialists. One illustration use is that of the Mayo Clinic: people go to their regular physician but may be sent to a specialist to work with a focused area of need. These therapists have been trained in this format to make the experience as effective as possible.
HOW ARE THE HIDEAWAY INTENSIVES DIFFERENT FROM OTHER MARRIAGE EVENTS?
Most marriage programs are “enrichment-type” programs; meaning that, they primarily facilitate growth or romance in a relationship that is generally healthy and well founded. The Hideaway Intensive program is for couples who are often in a crisis (separated, divorcing, hopeless, etc), couples who are very “stuck” and discouraged, and couples who say they have “tried everything else” and have not seen results or a breakthrough. People often attend our program as a “last ditch effort” in their marriage—not as a booster for enrichment.Another big distinction at the Hideaway is that all of our counseling therapists are trained professionals. In many marriage enrichment events, pastors, lay-helpers, and marriage mentors are the primary leaders. But the intensive is built to minister to more complex dynamics and deeper needs. Thus we have chosen to have only trained professionals that are equipped with knowledge, skills, and experience lead these events. The most distinctive difference is in the format of the event. Our programs are NOT a typical seminar, conference, workshop, or retreat. There is not a schedule or even specific lectures and presentations—we customize each event especially for the couples attending. Our method is more accurately described as a professional “model” or “approach.” It is base off theories developed during working with couples, along with specific techniques that we have found to be effective and empowering for individuals and initiating change in relationships. We have observed and explored many myths about relationships and have worked to define the actual elements of truth in a way that is easy to understand and apply. This is the foundation that the therapists work from. However, the program itself is not delivered as a “structured model.” We gather detailed information from each spouse PRIOR to their arrival so that the therapists can review and get a sense of the individuals’, couples’, and group’s unique aspects. There are never more than five couples, and the time is custom-tailored to your needs.
WOULD A HIDEAWAY INTENSIVE BE EFFECTIVE FOR NON-CHRISTIANS?
Hideaway is a faith-based organization. Our staff and therapists are Christians with Christian beliefs. The Bible is the source of the truth, principles, and skills that we teach individuals and couples looking for hope. We believe biblical insight is key to effectively heal, grow, and love with freedom from judgment, condemnation, and hopelessness.And while the relational truths that we teach are scripturally based, they can stand alone as secular principles. If received, they will have an impact regardless of the individual’s personal belief.The visibly spiritual aspects of a Hideaway Intensive include the following: the therapist possibly sharing personal faith-based experience, scripture references as a source of truth, prayer, and worship music. We have many types of many people that attend our Intensives. Attendees include individuals that are very active in their faith from diverse denominational backgrounds as well as non-Christians. We are dedicated to promoting safety, honor, respect, and curiosity rather than high-pressure, judgmental approaches that would promote any particular agenda. We seek to meet people where they are, and help them get to where they want to go.
DO YOU HAVE SCHOLARSHIPS AVAILABLE?
Yes, we do have scholarship funding available from people who believe in the mission of The Hideaway.The amount of funds available varies upon individual circumstances. We do believe our marriage covenant has great value and must be treated as such. Anything of value has a cost associated with it. We feel that couples that invest their time and resources into their marriage receive more benefit from The Hideaway Experience. You may need to ask for help from family, friends or your church to attend the Intensive Experience. This will provide you with people to be accountable to as you return to your home and walk out the hope that God has given to you in your marriage and the tools you have gained while attending The Hideaway.
WHY IS THE DEPOSIT NON-REFUNDABLE?
Once a space is reserved, other people trying to sign-up are not allowed to attend during that particular session. These are first come, first serve room availability and availability is limited.
WHAT DO I NEED TO BRING WHEN I COME TO THE HIDEAWAY EXPERIENCE?
The Hideaway provides a place of safety and comfort. You need to come with comfortable clothing, any special items (pillows, medications, light jackets, throws), walking shoes for break time and your Bible.
WHAT IF I HAVE SPECIAL DIETARY REQUIREMENTS?
All of our meals are provided on site and the same for everyone, but we will do everything possible to meet any dietary restrictions that you might have.Our job is too meet your needs of hospitality and request.
WHY DO WE HAVE TO ARRIVE THE NIGHT BEFORE THE INTENSIVE STARTS?
In order to be respectable of everyone’s time, we ask you to check-in and get settled the night before therapy begins. We start promptly at 8:00 a.m. the next morning and have a full four days of therapy. Please prepare to stay through dinner on the fourth day and then you may depart to return home.